^^^the first time I saw KC properly in front of me, a couple weeks ago
Shoot, I haven’t been sentimental for the past couple weeks, but then I started listening to my mood music playlist at the end of work the other day. Freeeak, that did it. The life that I’ve built here—it’s a good one. I’m in a mild limbo where it’s too soon to really start packing, but I feel like I need to do something that gives me physical evidence of transition. Except for the 20 minute periods here and there like when I turned on my mood music at work and then all of a sudden it’s like, “noooooope, not packing, we’re not going anywhere!” and I feel like the kid in Walmart who just wants to hang out in the toy aisle and never leave. It’s weird to just be leaving all of it. I’m not just going away for a cute summer break internship. Nope, this is it. Provo holds so many people that have made me laugh and inspired me and pricked my emotions here and there and listened to me and brought me a richness that I never expected to find in college. Yeah I hoped and figured it would be good…but not this good.
Right now I have my people. I have people I can call when I need a ride to pick up my car from the shop, or when I need to talk something out, or when I need someone to eat the cheesecake I made just for fun. And hopefully those people feel the same way about me. But having people is a luxury I won’t have, at least for a little while, when I move to KC.
And beyond people, actually none of this life is going to be the same. Kinda scary, mostly exciting, but also scary at the same time. But progression is a thing. And most of the time I’m very ready to move on. But then other times…shoot, I just have so much here and it’s hard to get my brain to imagine a life with this much fulness anywhere else. But I’m sure it’s possible. (hahaha heck, it better be possible or else the rest of life is going to be a little rough. like, this better not be the peak!)
But any way you look at it, it’s a blessing to have so much here.