the first days

the first few days here all felt a little foggy. I think part of that is because a 16-hour drive through Nebraska is enough to make anyone feel off, and the other part of it was transition overload. the stark reality of what I’d just done (leaving everything and everyone to move to a place where I knew nothing) was sinking in, and all the emotions felt blurry.

so if you ever move somewhere by yourself, give yourself 7 days where you might feel like you’re floating (not in the good way haha. kind of like you just took NyQuil.), but then I promise it’ll go away! and soon enough you’ll have a real mattress and a couch and a schedule and life will feel like life again.

[also, if you ever have to drive 16 hours through Nebraska, I highly recommend bringing your cool best friend. Aubrey saved my sanity.]

but foggy as they were,  here’s what those first days consisted of (mostly for posterity’s sake):

– pizza on the floor. because what else do you do when you move into a new apartment?

– an air mattress on the floor.

– IKEA. In which I disrupted the flow of traffic at least twice and got in people’s way at least twice. But I left with a plant named Hugo and a sheepskin rug (actually idk what animal it’s supposed to be) that I named but later forgot what I named it, among other things, so it was a decently successful trip.

– Grimaldi’s. BLESSINGS that Grimaldi’s has a random KC location. Like, who just puts a Grimaldi’s in Kansas City???

– a rooftop. leave it to me and Aubrey to find a hotel rooftop deck with nobody on it.

– some tears.

– a really sad goodbye.

but even through the weird life-fog those first few days, being here still felt comfortable, and pretty okay, which was a blessing.

moral of the story: moving somewhere totally new by yourself is a weird experience. weird feelings. but get yourself some pizza and some patience with life, and then give yourself a few days and it gets better.

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slc // in verbs

sometimes the world hands you a perfect night. and sometimes that happens to be right before you’re moving, and I feel like that’s not all that fair, right?? we went to Salt Lake last Friday with no objective in mind, and I think we were handed one of those solid nights.

aaaand here are the stories of the evening, told in verbs! (because I don’t feeel like stringing it together into an eloquent story tbh, haha. but sometimes story pieces are fun?)

SNEAKING // we accidentally snuck into the back of mass at the cathedral. (mass? a mass? grammar??) and by accidentally I mean that we happened to be there when mass was going on haha. and by sneaking I mean we just walked in and tiptoed to a bench on the creaky wood floor so we didn’t make much noise. Mass was super cool, actually!

DROOLING // over the Avenues. and tree-lined streets in general.

SPELLING // Me: “does capitol have an ‘a’ or an ‘o’?” / Kenzie: “it has both!” … That made me laugh more than it probably should have. & now I think I’ll always remember how to spell capitol.

WATCHING // this family on the capitol lawn was blowing bubbles with a giant bubble wand and it was straight magic. there was a little kid who would run after the bubbles every single time, and we decided that’s the epitome of childhood joy. and we also decided that if you’re dating someone who’s outgrown chasing bubbles, you probably shouldn’t date them.

it was a good night, that’s all. that part of Utah doesn’t feel like Utah, and I don’t know why I haven’t spent more time up there (in Salt Lake, and especially up by the capitol) this whole time I’ve lived here.

and here are some pictures!

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currently // on independence and new york and the like

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reading all the new york city books i can get my hands on.

craving travel. europe sounds like a fantastic idea right about now. ukraine, anyone? and new york too {but that’s pretty much a given}.

also craving the mountains and the forest and nature. and trying to figure out how i find it enjoyable to swim in high mountain lakes created by snowmelt, but when our water heater stops working and i have to take a freezing cold shower i can barely bring myself to stick a toe in. {mini-story: then the plumber comes and fixes the water heater and all seems well in the world until your roommate comes home later and the whole apartment smells like gas, so there’s a slight concern that your house is going to explode (is that a thing?). and she calls management and they look at it and the pilot light has gone out but the plumber can’t come back until tomorrow so that means no hot water at least until tomorrow morning. and i haven’t washed my hair since sunday because dry shampoo is great and the low-maintenance life is the best, although it’s getting to the point where it really needs some shampoo. plan of action: go on a killer run in the morning, jump in the shower as soon as i get home so the cold water feels excellent. end of mini-story.}

watching this commercial over and over again. dang. NYC + style + mindblowing-ly profound copy. plus armani has all these other short film-esque commercials in this series that are so. good.

remembering just how much i love writing. and reading. and remembering that it’s so important to fill your days with what you love.

working on feeling adequate with independence. it’s hard when you live in a culture that is constantly pushing dating in your face, but for right now i think there’s something so great about being strong and confident and killing it at life because you love yourself. and Heavenly Father has it all worked out. :)

learning patience in all things. and contentment. and happiness in the details.

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have a rad rest of your week! {photos taken on a roommate excursion up by aspen grove a couple weekends ago. utah rocks at nature.}

{love, tessa brynn}

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