on rightness and trust + some photos around town

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{written last night}

Right now I’m sitting in my little four-person bedroom with bright pink walls, and pink bedspreads, and a couple more pink touches, so basically it’s an unreal amount of pink, with about fifty thousand fresh books tucked on the ground below me, under my bed, wearing a skirt and maybe some slight remnants of bright lipstick, and I’m in a reflecting mood. And Pandora’s killing it, so that’s pretty great too.

This evening, Caroline and I put on nice clothes for once and took a stroll around Edgartown in search of great photo spots, and really every time I step outside I have to pinch myself, but tonight was especially good. I’m living on a gorgeous island, with some amazing people, and that only scratches the surface. Blessings, goodness they’re everywhere! Lately we’ve all been talking a lot about random chains of events – things that seem so inconsequential at first but turn out to be something spectacular. This experience wasn’t anywhere close to my radar a year ago {heck, I didn’t even know that Martha’s Vineyard was a thing thanks to my limited world knowledge from growing up in Idaho}, and now I’m having the most incredible summer adventure I could have imagined with people that I hadn’t even met a year ago either. It’s quite something to see the pieces fit together. And I absolutely love being overwhelmed with a sense of rightness in the world.

And yet, I still find room to complain, which is ridiculous amidst all the blessings. I’ve added “COMPLAIN LESS” to my “Let’s Try to Be a Better Person” list because it’s so easy to let the negative pieces overshadow the breathtaking ones. In a way, I think all the writing I do here is part of that effort to counterbalance the negative. Here in the blog-world I just talk about all the wonderful bits of life – I just wholeheartedly gush about everything mostly out of awe and amazement and I have to let it out somewhere. But every life has rough patches, and sometimes those rough patches are more than patches, and I for 100% sure have plenty of all that. The complaining doesn’t quite make it here, because who wants to read {or write} negativity?! There’s enough negativity in the world as it is, I’m pretty sure. And for me, writing is a pretty decent wake-up call to help me realize the beauty when things get foggy on occasion.

Sometimes life is weird. And crazy confusing. Actually, lately it’s been quite confusing, although I think in the last week or so I’ve stumbled on some peace and clarity that I’ve been in search of for a while, and for that I’m grateful. It’s hard when you want something so bad and you have to learn that it’s just not meant to be, but I’ve been learning a lesson in humility and gratitude and trust in timing for the past year or so. Sometimes I’m still very stubborn, but I hope I’m getting better at giving my complete trust to my Father in Heaven in all things. All things. Because I know for a fact that He has everything under control, and He has a greater plan that is more spectacular than anything I could possibly imagine myself. And I’m finding that complete trust leads to complete peace.

Today I’m grateful for new friends, and old friends, a loving Heavenly Father, and a testimony that keeps me grounded, and this beautiful world that we all get to live in, and for all the tiny, magical details of this crazy life. I’m grateful for dreams of the future, and talks of New York City, and for ice cream every single day. I’m grateful for books, and cozy stores, and lipstick, and Taylor Swift, and sleep, and the ocean, and yogurt. And fruit and frozen lemonade and ice water. And air conditioning. Also, an organized freezer is pretty nice, along with a freshly mopped ice cream parlor floor.

I’ll just be a shameless broken record forever, but life is so beautiful.

And on the less-deep-side of the world, here are some more photos from our excursion around town!

Edgartown park

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And we went on a boat last week, so that was fun! I could do the sailboat life, I think.

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It’s a fun world we live in. Peace out until the next time I find myself in the library again.

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Other places to find me (a.k.a. let’s be friends!):

Bloglovin’ >>> Life and Loveliness

Instagram >>> @tessabrynnk

Twitter >>> @tessabrynnk

Pinterest >>> Tessa Kohler

beautiful things of today

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^^^random, slightly unrelated photo of my view from my chair in the library this morning

waking up to fresh snow on the ground, and tiny bits of it drifting through the air

walking up the hill in the dark to the temple, when the world was quiet and the snow glowed faintly on the mountainside to the right

early-morning peace in the temple

my cozy living room encircled with soft christmas lights

clarity in the scriptures while curled up on the couch in said living room

the hallelujah chorus on pandora

having my first class canceled

an impromptu almost-hour in the library

stepping outside into the shining sun, with snow on the ground all around

anticipations of home in two days

spending a ridiculous amount of time going through the archives of one of my favorite blogs

the feeling that there are good, magical, exciting things just over the horizon

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other places to find me:

instagram >>> @tessabrynnk

bloglovin >>> life and loveliness

twitter >>> @tessabrynnk

pinterest >>> tessa kohler

ducks, the cold, and a canal

today’s been a pretty decent day, if i may say so! it was just a nice day of easing back into the routine of normality after spending the weekend lazing around in unproductive bliss.

the weather around here has been interesting lately. today’s sky was a plain gray color, like an almost-blank canvas, waiting for something. the world has a feeling of unrest, or maybe it’s expectation – expectation for some amazing event yet to happen.

i took myself on a run this afternoon along a canal in a nearby park, which was quite enjoyable. the air was harsh and cold and biting, but that’s actually my running environment of preference. there were only a few other people out in the park today, so i just had the canal-abiding ducks to keep me company. during the course of my run i came to the excellent conclusion that ducks are actually very pretty creatures. they have a regal, majestic, intelligent sort of a look about them with their sleek, deep-toned feathers. maybe i should find a duck to be best friends with.

i feel like “canal” isn’t quite the right word for this particular collection of water that flows by the park. if you look at it right, it’s actually quite picturesque, in a raw, down-to-earth, honest sort of way. semi-large trees, now bare of leaves, have put down their roots here and there along the banks. ducks swim up and down, and different shrubs have also made their homes at the waterside. even now, in the wintertime, the varying shades of browns and grays and faint greens have beauty about them. it’s not the vibrant color and bursting life of spring and summer, but instead a peaceful, serene sort of beauty that only the hand of january can bring about.

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yes, it was as fun time indeed, communing with the ducks and the cold and the canal. a fun time indeed.

mirror mirror…or not?

i spent a good amount of time last summer roughing it in the great outdoors. camping, hiking, boating, et cetera. while i was gallivanting around lakes and through creeks and up mountains, getting terribly dusty and sweaty and considerably disheveled and having a thoroughly fabulous time, i had a thought.

what if we lived in a world without mirrors?

really. think about it.

during my time spent away from proper civilization this summer, no mirrors followed me around. i didn’t have a chance to glance at my hair or makeup or clothes just by stepping into a bathroom.

i got dirty, my hair wasn’t perfectly straight, and my invisible blonde eyelashes were, well, pretty much invisible without a coating of that dark gloppy stuff we call mascara.

and i was totally okay with it. when i didn’t have the chance to look at myself every hour, i actually ended up caring less about how i looked.

the honest truth is that when most of us look in the mirror, we see the flaws. as bad as that is, it is so, so hard not so sometimes.

but what if we had never, ever seen those flaws before? and really, we only consider them flaws based on society’s definition of beauty. so what if we never had the chance to look at ourselves and determine if we had those “flaws” or not?

think of all the depression and the sadness and the self-consciousness that might have never even begun, had people not ever been able to look at themselves.

this summer, i was able to look on people with more love, and with a softer eye because i wasn’t inadvertently comparing my appearance to theirs. after not seeing yourself for even a few hours, i found out that you kind of start to forget the little tiny details of your face in your mind (as weird as that may sound). everything began to soften and blur in my mind until when i thought of my face, i only saw the smile, and the eyes, and the light.

the beauty is what is left behind as everything else fades.

but then you get back in front of a mirror, and the stark reality is staring back at you, and the comparison begins again. suddenly it is so painfully easy to pick out everything that society has told us is far from beautiful, and those nuances seem so painfully obvious.

but what if we didn’t have mirrors? 

there’s my hypothesizing for the day – what do you think?

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this post was inspired by the wordpress daily prompt! http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/01/22/daily-prompt-mirrored/