the first days

the first few days here all felt a little foggy. I think part of that is because a 16-hour drive through Nebraska is enough to make anyone feel off, and the other part of it was transition overload. the stark reality of what I’d just done (leaving everything and everyone to move to a place where I knew nothing) was sinking in, and all the emotions felt blurry.

so if you ever move somewhere by yourself, give yourself 7 days where you might feel like you’re floating (not in the good way haha. kind of like you just took NyQuil.), but then I promise it’ll go away! and soon enough you’ll have a real mattress and a couch and a schedule and life will feel like life again.

[also, if you ever have to drive 16 hours through Nebraska, I highly recommend bringing your cool best friend. Aubrey saved my sanity.]

but foggy as they were,  here’s what those first days consisted of (mostly for posterity’s sake):

– pizza on the floor. because what else do you do when you move into a new apartment?

– an air mattress on the floor.

– IKEA. In which I disrupted the flow of traffic at least twice and got in people’s way at least twice. But I left with a plant named Hugo and a sheepskin rug (actually idk what animal it’s supposed to be) that I named but later forgot what I named it, among other things, so it was a decently successful trip.

– Grimaldi’s. BLESSINGS that Grimaldi’s has a random KC location. Like, who just puts a Grimaldi’s in Kansas City???

– a rooftop. leave it to me and Aubrey to find a hotel rooftop deck with nobody on it.

– some tears.

– a really sad goodbye.

but even through the weird life-fog those first few days, being here still felt comfortable, and pretty okay, which was a blessing.

moral of the story: moving somewhere totally new by yourself is a weird experience. weird feelings. but get yourself some pizza and some patience with life, and then give yourself a few days and it gets better.

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I’m not a blogger so this post doesn’t even need to be about anything

^^^ Ya you read that title. So here’s a list of things. I’m not even putting a picture.

  1. Natalie Jean just blogged again after a year away, and it’s everything I wanted it to be for her first post back.
  2. I decided that I’m going to buy myself a bathrobe when I move into my new apartment in KC. Because somehow a bathrobe seems like a token of adulthood? Or at least a token of adulthood living in an apartment on your own? Or at least a token of some form of luxury? So ya, bathrobe.
  3. I’ve spent 3 months being sad and sentimental and nostalgic for Utah, and I think I’m done being sad and I just want to move already.
  4. I went to a concert the other night and I decided that I would definitely be okay with dating someone in a band. Long hair, artistic flair, some well-placed tattoos…yeah I promise I’m not kidding, I’d be wayyyy into that. Ok maybe not the leather pants. But all the rest of it, where do I sign up??? Anyone know any temple-worthy kids who check off the “rockstar” box?
  5. Dan Mace on Casey Neistat’s vlogs these days MAKES MY LIFE SO HAPPY. Like, can I order one of him to bring to KC with me to be my friend before I make friends haha? [watch THIS ONE and THIS ONE especially]
  6. Whaaaaat do I even want this blog to be? Do I want it to be anything? Do I need it to be anything?

That’s all! K bye!

 

reality today!

REALITY TODAY!

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living in slight self-consciousness that I maybe smell like a closet because the shirt I’m wearing was commandeered from my grandma’s basement closet. but it’s a rad shirt, so we’re good? also hiiii work bathroom. (side note: benefits of working in an office building with very few females — the bathroom is always so clean, and so empty. and it has a window, so double points for natural light!)

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slowly starting the process of getting rid of most of my possessions so I can fit the most important things in my car when I drive to Kansas City in 2 months. the most important things being my books and my clothes, in that order. also, I’m going to miss my house.

feeling antsy. waiting periods are funnnnn! but it’s also good to have a time where I’m being forced to slow down and savor and be mindful.

 

nighttime thoughts

tonight i’m in a writing mood. i could probably crank out a few fairly thought-provoking essays right now if so called upon. instead, since i kinda need to try to go to sleep, here’s just a summarized version of all the random thoughts floating around in my head…

1. snow is glorious. but cold. very, very cold. (duh.)

2. my electric blanket is equally glorious.

3. the christmas season is wonderful. the hard part comes during the rest of the year. i think everyone, to a certain extent, exits december with convictions to do better in the new year and carry on the christmas spirit, it’s just difficult to keep it up. i really want to succeed at keeping christmas in my heart this year, so i’m on a mission to make it happen.

4. as i’ve mentioned before, crossroads in life are dang scary. exciting, but scary. right now i feel like i’m at the edge of a cliff, looking down but unable to see what’s below me. or maybe i’m at the bottom of a mountain, looking up? is that a more positive comparison? at any rate, it’s exciting to have such amazing possibilities right in front of me, but it’s freaking me out just a tad, not gonna lie.

5. dark nail polish (not black, just dark blue or red) has become my thing over the course of this evening after i purchased some, painted my nails, and now i feel like i could conquer the world. is this similar to my lipstick sentiments?

6. i really, really, really want to move to a big city. preferably new york city. like, right now.