these days

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^^^ Prospero’s bookstore the other night (a new favorite place in KC!)

things are interesting. it’s been weird not going back to school with everyone else that’s back in Utah. not as weird as I thought it was going to be, but still weird. sometimes I get major FOMO for all the cool things I hear about going on back in Provo.

it’s also weird being in a phase that, for the first time in my life, doesn’t really have a concrete end date. I don’t have an end date for living in Kansas City, I don’t have an end date for being an unmarried person, I don’t have an end date for…really anything. life feels different knowing that at this point any serious progression or movement is really up to me.

but! overwhelmingly, life is a good place to be. I really, really love it here. there are so many things for me to learn in every single section of my life, and I’m excited to see how everything plays out.

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a graduate!

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I graduated today. yayyy!

I’m a sentimental person anyway, and endings make me especially sentimental. Without getting too long-winded, here are some thoughts I’ve had over the past few days. [and listen to THIS SONG if you want extra-sentimental vibes]

When I walked home on Monday after taking my last final ever, I passed a party at an apartment complex, and I felt suddenly like an outsider. It was almost the same exact feeling that I remember having while walking back to my apartment from freshman orientation the first night after I moved to Provo. Like I’m not quite a part of this life that everyone else is living. Super weird. In that moment on Monday I was so glad that I’m choosing to move, rather than staying where it feels comfortable.

Also, who even was I as a freshman haha? That person feels so foreign to me…I don’t even remember what I thought about or aspired to or anything. I’m so grateful for change and increased ambition.

And finally, I’m grateful for BYU. These past 4 years I’ve learned so much about myself, and about Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, and about the beauty of people, and about the richness that knowledge brings to life. BYU has given more than I ever expected it would, and in completely different ways than I anticipated.

Cheers to endings and beginnings!